I Was Kicked off an Island by Lesbians

That’s right, I was kicked off an island by lesbians. It wasn’t just lesbians, it was an entire collegiate LGBTQ organization. You may be wondering, “Why would such a loving group of diverse, independent, and forward-thinking students want me thrown off an island?” The answer is simple: I offended them. READ MORE

When I was a standup comic in New York City I had the opportunity to work as a warmup comedian for a television show. I got the gig via Craigslist and so it was surprising that the job was even real. Warmup comics can make as much as $400 per show for very little work. And as most television shows tape during the day, a comedian still has the night off to work clubs and bars making this the best dayjob possible for me. READ MORE

“Fuck Mulch”, said the Gastroenterologist.

They say dentists have the highest suicide rate of any profession. That “fact” always seemed strange to me and possibly invalid. I mean, how often does a dentist lose a patient on the table? Never happens, no one dies there. You’d think heart surgeons would be more prone to offing themselves given the pressure in that room…. READ MORE